


I'm (fever) Hot For You

by Fina0319



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Eddie is sooo Sweet, Eddie is the Sweetest, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Insecure Buck, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Seriously this is angst, Trans Buck, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 13:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18476791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fina0319/pseuds/Fina0319
Summary: Buck is sick but comes to work anyway because he is a stubborn piece of shit with self-esteem issues. It takes a wrong turn when they come back from a call and Buck suddenly starts feeling worse and leave. Eddie follows him and tries to get Buck to say what's on his mind.Buck is scared Eddie will think less of him if he tells the truth. Eddie is just concerned about the man he loves.





	I'm (fever) Hot For You

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo...   
> This is my first work in this fandom (yayy) and I have to say I'm a little nervous because every single one of the writers out there that writes for this beautiful ship (Buck/Eddie) is such talented authors. But I'm going to do my best to keep up with the other writers and this is the result. Leave a comment and tell me what you thought when you are done. Please? 
> 
> I'm complete trash for trans!Buck btw so that may be thrown in a little sudden but I needed it in here.

Buck wasn’t feeling good. His head was pounding and he hadn’t gotten a bit food down since yesterday. In fact, the mere thought of eating something turned his stomach upside down. He mumbled a weak excuse to Chimney in passing and hurried away from the fire truck they just stepped out from after putting out a fire in a kitchen. He felt so warm that it surprised him that he hadn’t caught fire himself. 

He stumbled into the changing room and heavily leaned his arms and forehead against the lockers. The cold metal felt like heaven against his hot skin. Every breath he took hurt and after a while, every muscle in his body started to shake. He let out a pained moan and turned around to lean his back against the lockers. He slowly glided down and pulled his knees to his chest, trying to make himself small. 

He knew he needed to help the others prepare the truck for the next call. Or at least sit by the table so that no one thought he was lazy. Because he WASN’T anymore! 

But he was so tired. So, so tired. And his eyelids were so heavy. He blinked quickly two times, ignoring the headache that only got worse, but his eyes stayed painfully dry. With a deep sigh he tried to get up off the floor but pain shot up his back and his knees buckled under him. Thanks to his uncooperative legs he fell back on the floor just wit a low thud. 

“Ow. Fuck” he swore as tears welled up in his heavy eyes. He desperately tried to blink them away but they started falling anyway. “Bugger” he mumbled and dried his face with the backside of his hand. The sound of the ceiling fan rang in his ears, as high as sirens and he let his head fall forward. His forehead rested on his knees and he put his arms around them as he tried to choke the sobs that left his pained throat. 

Wow, he was such a loser. Couldn’t even get the flu without crying. That thought sent him into a long row of uncontrollable sobs. He gave up trying to hold them back and sobbed freely, tears falling down his cheeks and wetting his trousers. 

He hurt. Everything hurt. His throat was aching and his head was pounding, his body heavy and sore. It was like the pain was trying to swallow him whole. 

God, he was so tired. He just wanted to curl himself to a little ball and sleep. Maybe find a blanket first. Or ten. And maybe Eddie. Eddie was always warm. And grounded. Yeah, Eddie could totally hold Buck together in a moment like this. Too bad that never was going to happen. 

How was he supposed to make it through another 4 hours of his shift? He silently thanked however made the schedule that he only had a ten-hour shift today. It wasn’t like he could compare that to Eddie, that soon would be of his 24-hour shift and that only yesterday texted Buck to complain about his own flu. 

Buck crunched in around himself a little more. Sometimes he just wished he could just curl up when Eddie was around. How could he really be that unaffected by everything when Buck still wanted to hide under his covers of the bed and cry sometimes? And he knew everything. He must think Buck was such an idiot. 

He wasn’t hot anymore, he was cold and shivering. Once again the thought of cuddling Eddie for warmth showed up in Buck’s brain. Normally he would push the thought away before he even got the time to think it but he didn’t have the energy to that right now. 

Tears were still falling from his eyes and snot was flowing from his nose. The cold made his muscles tense which made the aching even worse. He tried to force himself to relax but that only had his head pounding even more. The sound of his own distressed heartbeat was so loud in his aching head that he didn’t hear the door open.

”Hey, Buck! What’s going on?” Eddie’s voice came from the door and Buck finally willed his body to stop sobbing. Praying that Eddie hadn’t seen it already. Eddie already thought so little of him, Buck really didn’t want him to have this as another reason to see Buck as a mess up. “Buck… you alright?” Eddie was closer now, Buck guessed he was crouching beside him. 

He took a breath and forced himself to nob, still refusing to look up. He heard Eddie shift beside him and then he felt a warm hand against his shoulder. It took all he had not to collapse against it. 

“Is it about the call this morning?” his voice was soft as if he was scared of spoking Buck. The tone made him relax but at the same time, the pity only made him feel worse. How fragile did Eddie think he was? Earlier that day, Buck and Eddie had been forced to drag a man that was over the fence of a bridge because he was about to take suicide. Because his girlfriend had left and he just figured out she wasn’t coming back. 

Sure, Buck had sent Abby a thought. Something that he actually hadn’t done in a while.  Not since he fell in love with Eddie . Not since Daugh kidnapped Maddie. But he hadn’t thought about that call since he left the scene. Truth to be told he barely remember it. He barely remembered anything from today. His head was just heavy. 

He hesitated if he told Eddie that it was the reason he was feeling bad maybe Eddie would leave him alone. But he didn’t want to lie to Eddie and he really didn’t want Eddie to think that he still was hung up on Abby. So he slowly shook his head. 

“So… What is it?” Eddie sounded confused and concerned now. Both feelings made something pull at his chest. But it didn’t hurt, as everything else did right now. It was pleasant. Buck took another shaky breath, still not talking. 

The hand on his shoulder shifted so the warm feeling of Eddie’s arm lay over Buck’s shoulders, grounding him. Buch sighed and turned against the touch, leaning into Eddie. He put his forehead against the skin on Eddie’s neck that was on display and found to his surprise that it was cooler than his own. That wasn’t right, Eddie was always warm. Buck knew because it was the first thing he noticed every time he touched him. 

A full body shiver made its way up his spine and he presses further into Eddie's side. Because his skin may be cool but his body isn’t and he is much more comfortable than the lockers. 

He heard when Eddie gasped and had he been at the top of his game he backed off. Fast. But now, when Eddie’s other hand made contact with his forehead he just leaned into it with a satisfied sigh. 

“Buck!” Eddie exclaimed, pulling his hand back as if it been burned. Which it probably had. “Why didn’t you tell us that you weren’t feeling well?” he asked but before Buck had a chance to answer he shouted. “Chimney! Can you take a thermometer in here? Buck’s burning up!” 

The next thing he knew the whole team was sitting around him. Or well, Bobby was standing by the locker, hovering like the dad Buck has started to think him as. Chimney was sitting on the floor in front of him asking questions while Hen sat on the bench a little bit away. Eddie shifted when they came in, as if he was getting ready to leave. Buck wined, literally whined, and took a rigid grip of his shirt. 

Eddie sank back down and mumbled some stuff Buck couldn’t hear over the banging in his own head but he relaxed when Eddie no longer threatened to go anywhere. Even though he didn’t let go of Eddie’s shirt. 

He felt a thermometer in his ear and he tried to curl further into Eddie. He didn’t want the others to see him like this. As weak. It was bad enough Eddie did it. That thought had Buck sitting up so quickly that it felt as if he was going to throw up. 

“Shit” he mumbled and leaned forward, hiding his head between his knees. His head was pounding and his body was hurling, trying to get up food that wasn’t there. 

“Take deep breaths. Try to relax, you’re going to be okay” Chimney said and Eddie’s hand disappeared from his shoulders. Buck whimpered but was cut off by his stomach trying to break out through his mouth. Eddie’s hand was quickly back, spread on his back this time and he mumbled something to Buck. Buck still couldn’t hear him but Eddie’s voice calmed him. 

“He has over 103 degrees fever” he heard Hen say somewhere in the background. “He shouldn’t be here. He should be home” 

“I can call Maddie” Chimney said and Buck saw how he reached for his phone through the tears in his eyes. When had he started crying again? 

“No idea. I don’t think he wants her here now anyway” Bobby suddenly said from behind him. Buck sinks a little more. Bobby is so about to fire him now. He shut his eyes against the tears and waited. “Eddie, how about you take Buck to one of the sleeping rooms and stay with him until Maddie is done with her shift”. 

The bell rang only seconds later and Buck groaned and pressed a and against his head. 

“Get him to take this” Hen said and gave Eddie something before she disappeared behind the others. 

When the noise finally stopped and the ringing in Buck’s head got quiet he shifted and leaned back against the lockers again. His butt was starting to hurt from sitting on it for so long but he was pretty sure that he couldn’t stand up. Eddie shifted too and laid his hand on his tight instead. 

“Are you ready to take these now?” he asked softly and handed Buck two white pills. Buck turned to look at him and froze, staring into Eddie’s warm, brown eyes that were shining with concern and… fondness? But that couldn’t be. He gave Eddie a little smile, that must look really fake, and lifted the water bottle to his lips. He knew that the pills on his tongue were supposed to taste bad but he couldn’t taste anything. 

Buck swallowed even though his stomach was screaming and his throat was burning because Eddie looked so worried. Buck almost melted under his eyes. Who wouldn’t want to be the one Eddie looked at like that? Simply who wouldn’t do anything Eddie asked for to make him look happy again so the wrinkles around his eyes showed up and his deep brown eyes turned all warm under the ridiculously soft looking hair that fell down his forehead?

Eddie’s concern warmed him but he was still so cold that he was shivering all over and his body still ached from the way his muscles strained. He hadn’t felt like this in seven years. Not since he was twenty, about to be twenty-one, and finally had his  Metoidioplasty . He had already had  Mastectomy three years prior. He remembered the ache he had felt in his body for weeks after the surgery. But that pain had resulted in a body he felt comfortable in, as a body he saw as his. He wasn’t sure this pain would have the same outcome.

Eddie squeezed his tight from where he sat beside him. When Buck turned against him he first didn’t understand the worried look Eddie gave him. Then he realized that he subconsciously was scratching the scar on his arm, covered up with a tattoo. He smiled a goofy smile. Could he be more perfect? A true gentleman helping Buck when he was in need. He leaned against Eddie’s shoulder again. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Eddie’s voice is still soft, barely higher than a whisper, as if he is scared of scaring Buck. He hid his face in Eddie’s neck, unable to stop himself. Eddie smelled really good, like smoke, sweat, and apples. He burrowed his head a little further into the brunette’s shoulder and took a deep breath before he answered. 

“I didn’t want you to think I was weak” he mumbled lowly, closing his eyes. He hated this. Hated feeling vulnerable. Hated to let Eddie see him like this. Because this was Eddie and Eddie was never weak and Buck really wanted, needed Eddie to see him as strong, too. 

"Buck…" Eddie started but Buck cut him off. 

"Doesn't matter much now, does it?" he said ironically. "You all see me as weak anyway and now you see just how much of a disaster I actually am". 

“Buck, don’t say that” Eddie voiced, his tone almost a little harsher now. The tone would have made Buck uncertain if he wasn’t so railed up already. It was like all the emotions he had for Eddie the last couple of months welled up and he was unable to stop them. Because he was so tired. Tired of feeling these things, exhausted from having feelings for his best friend that never would feel the same way.  

“Why not?” he snapped, pulling away from Eddie and doing a motion with his hand that probably could be described as dramatic without caring about how his sore muscles screamed at him to stay still. “It’s true, isn’t it? Cap never asks me anything, he always consults with you or Chimney and turns to Hen for brilliant ideas. The only time any of you turns to me is when we have to do something crazy and you got that without me, don’t you!” 

“I didn’t…” Buck wasn’t near done and he was absolutely not about to let Eddie interrupt him. Mostly because he  _ knew _ he stupid he most sound right now but he. couldn’t. stop. 

“I am not allowed to do much, am I? And everytime I actually has a decent idea you all look at me like I’m stupid because you all think I am so it would be really nice if you stop pretending like I’m not because I know I am too, okay?!” he was aware that he was rambling now but it felt nice to finally say what he felt. “I know that I’m stupid. Hell, I can’t even get the person I love to love me back!” he stopped to breathe deeply, his voice giving out and his lungs out of air. 

It took him around two seconds to realize exactly what he just said and when he did his eyes widened and he turned his head so that he could stare at Eddie. Eddie how was looking at him with shock written all over his face, Eddie how was so perfect. Eddie, how he just admitted he loved out loud. 

He turned his head against the floor again, a deep blush making it’s way up his neck. This was it. Eddie would never want to be friends with him after this. 

“Buck…  _ Evan _ look at me” Buck shook his head, still staring at the floor as new tears welled up in his eyes. Eddie leaned forward to grab his face in both of his hands, forcing Buck to look at him. 

“No…” Buck mumbled, trying to pull away from him but Eddie was strong and stubborn and he stayed put until Buck stopped trying to look anywhere else and met the brown eyes that right now was so much fire that Buck lost his breath all over again. 

“No one, do you hear me,  _ no one  _ thinks you are stupid. We think you are strong and brave and badass under pressure. You have a heart of gold and you wanna save everyone, not even thinking twice if you could get hurt in the process and you are the  _ only _ one I trust to have my back no matter what. Okay?”Eddie’s voice sounded desperate in a way that Buck hadn’t heard before and his eyes were shining with love. 

Buck felt how the tears started flowing from his eyes and sobbed helplessly as he leaned forward, burying his head in Eddie’s firm shoulder. 

“I’m sorry” he mumbled between full body sobs that pulled his airways together so much that he couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe. “I’m sorry”. 

“You don’t have to apologize, we love you just as you are, you are our family” Eddie said softly. These words triggered something in Buck and he leaned into Eddie more, put his arms around the other man's waist and hugged him, hard. A chuckle made Eddie’s chest rumble and the feeling that had started spreading in Buck’s chest exploded, overwhelming him with feelings. 

“Thank you” he mumbled between the sobs that still was shaking his body. “Thank you”. 

“It’s all true, Evan. I promise” to hear Eddie say his name, his real name, felt too good to be true. People had called him Buck since he was seventeen and realized that he actually was a man. He hadn’t changed his name to ‘Evan’ legally until he was twenty-one. “And if Abby can’t see what an amazing man you are, she isn’t worthy of your love. Because you love more than anyone I have ever met and if she can’t see that, it’s her loss”. 

Buck’s feelings sank. Eddie still tough he was talking about Abby. Didn't he see just how much Buck loved him and Christopher? That the feelings he had for Eddie made the feelings he once had for Abby look like nothing?

“I…” he started, insecure about however or not he should mention it. The time stopped as Buck draw a deep breath. He didn’t want Eddie to find out this way. He wasn’t sure he wanted Eddie to find out at all. With his heart in his throat, Buck decided to leap. It was now or never after all.  “I wasn’t talking about Abby” he mumbled with a shaking voice, withdrawing from Eddie. 

“No?” there was a new tone in Eddie’s voice now and Buck looked up in time to see Eddie lift one hand and put it against his cheek. “Then who were you talking about?” Eddie whispered and Buck’s eyes flattered down to other man’s lips for a moment. Then he looked up again, meeting Eddie’s brown orbs. 

Buck was shaking more now than he had in the last hour overall, even though the fever finally was starting to reduce. He couldn’t hear anything except his heart banging against his ribcage and his harsh breath that mingled with Eddie’s. He fastened his eyes beside Eddie’s head, not able to look the man in the eye. 

“You” he mumbled. 

Eddie moved closer, his breath tasting mint in Buck’s mouth. He glanced up at Eddie’s eyes but they were looking at his own lips. Buck leaned forward a little bit, inviting Eddie to him, turning his head a little so that the brunette had better access. He stopped breathing when their lips are practically touching. When the only thing Buck can hear s the beating if his nervous heart. When he almost, if he tried enough, could imagen that he heard Eddie's heart beat in the same rhythm. 

That’s when a sob made it's way up his throat. Buck flow back, hiding his head in his head and tried to dry his cheeks as discreet as possible. 

“God. I must look like a mess. I am so sorry” he half laughed, half sobbed. This was so typically him. Here he had Eddie, the man he had been in love wuíth for months, in front of him, ready to  _ kiss _ him and Buck looked like a complete mess. He tried to calm himself. He shouldn’t be crying. Eddie, this fantastic, handsome,  _ wonderful _ man was about to kiss him. 

Why was Eddie about to kiss him? Eddie was perfect, Eddie had the perfect family with a son that was the most amazing kid Buck ever met and fine he knew that Shannon and Eddie had broken up but e had nothing on Shannon and Eddie wouldn’t want to mess with their family and… 

Eddie interrupted him by putting his hand back by Buck’s face, pulling away his hands and forced Buck to look at him again. He calmly wiped away the tear that still was running down his cheeks with a steady hand and leaned forward again. 

“No, Buck. You are beautiful and I really wanna kiss you” Buck’s heart made a jump in his chest at Eddie’s words combined with his calm, loving tone. He knew this voice. This was the voice Eddie used when he tucked Christopher in. “Can I kiss you?” The fact that Eddie asked made everything swell in Buck. This man really was perfect. 

“Yes” he whispered, leaning forward to meet the man he loved halfway. Eddie’s lips caught his in a slow, demanding kiss. It was a kiss for the drowning. The ones that hadn’t breathed for years and now got to do it freely, to take their time. Eddie searched his entire mouth, as if to map it but no one of them rushed it. They had time to do this. 

“I love you, Evan Buckley” Eddie whispered when they pulled back a  while later. Buck didn’t know how long and he didn’t find it important. What was important was what Eddie said. And that he was going to hear that often from now on. Hopefully for the rest of his life. 

“I love you, too” he mumbled against Eddie’s lips before kissing him again. And Buck was feeling fine again. He was feeling more than fine. He felt wonderful. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please give me kudos or leave a comment, they literally make my day :)   
> Thank you for reading!!


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